In Embodied Living, like many self transcendence programmes, we are ultimately aiming for egolessness. However, and here is the paradox; egolessness simply cannot be achieved without a healthy and well-developed ego in the first place. In black and white terms, I guess there is 'good' ego and 'bad' ego.
Bad ego is embodied in that egotistical person that we all know who is so sure of him/herself, arrogant (even if this is 'couched' in a seemingly high sense of admiring others) to a point of simply not being able to recognise when he is in the wrong. I guess we all know one person like this. The twist here is that, quite often, these people actually have self-esteem issues, and the 'big' ego is hiding this.
Weak ego is often present when people show the following:
'Good' ego has a stamp of humility, service to others, magnanimous behaviour. The person who appreciates themselves or others, despite recognising failings and weaknesses.
In Embodied Living we can develop ego through working with the body and the centres of intelligence in the energy centres and the enteric nervous system, the heart and the brain, thereby integrating the nervous system. The stronger the core ego, the greater ability we have to live fully and deeply in the world, without it buffeting and throwing us about like we are in a storm.
Related to ego are two terms that often get confused. Self-confidence and self-esteem. People can be very self-confident, yet lack self-esteem. Quite often the former is used to make up for the latter. Self-confidence comes from experience and having the skills and successes behind you to do the job. If you practice public speaking and build up a bank of positive experiences, you will be confident.
However, self-esteem is something deeper. It is a sense of valuing yourself for just being alive, feeling worthy and accepting yourself unconditionally. This comes from our childhood. And we can develop it later, if we missed out earlier on in our lives.
Bad ego is embodied in that egotistical person that we all know who is so sure of him/herself, arrogant (even if this is 'couched' in a seemingly high sense of admiring others) to a point of simply not being able to recognise when he is in the wrong. I guess we all know one person like this. The twist here is that, quite often, these people actually have self-esteem issues, and the 'big' ego is hiding this.
Weak ego is often present when people show the following:
- over idolising someone else
- over protective of oneself - fearful of making mistakes, or of being vulnerable. This manifests in someone who is quick to criticise or cut others down, or often makes judgements of others
- being attached to being of service - martyring oneself to others/ a cause in order to have a sense of self (ie the wife slavishly serving a family to the detriment of her own health and wellbeing)
'Good' ego has a stamp of humility, service to others, magnanimous behaviour. The person who appreciates themselves or others, despite recognising failings and weaknesses.
In Embodied Living we can develop ego through working with the body and the centres of intelligence in the energy centres and the enteric nervous system, the heart and the brain, thereby integrating the nervous system. The stronger the core ego, the greater ability we have to live fully and deeply in the world, without it buffeting and throwing us about like we are in a storm.
Related to ego are two terms that often get confused. Self-confidence and self-esteem. People can be very self-confident, yet lack self-esteem. Quite often the former is used to make up for the latter. Self-confidence comes from experience and having the skills and successes behind you to do the job. If you practice public speaking and build up a bank of positive experiences, you will be confident.
However, self-esteem is something deeper. It is a sense of valuing yourself for just being alive, feeling worthy and accepting yourself unconditionally. This comes from our childhood. And we can develop it later, if we missed out earlier on in our lives.
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